yesterday i was talking to a woman, a special one; she got me thinking much, in some fronts i call her mom cos she is docile and quite accepting as a true mother (well she is) just not my own, we had a heartfelt conversation, i talked more than some people ,my friends would have me talk; and we talked about deep issues, you know personalities, marriage, independence, siblings, makeup and that kind of fellowship made me want more of that… i talked much like someone who’d be venting and probably care less about solutions like probably most women do.
she is an elder’s wife from church and following an illness she was incapacitated in health, her body was swollen mostly and her legs were swollen too, her movement was quite compromised, just a little walks holding onto clutches, she was doing just fine bc she had a househelp anyway.
during our talks what was emmergent was the fact that i have grown so much like my mother; i am quite a perfectionist and i didnt realise that, i mean me really?
dont ll firstborns grow up to be like their moms?
it was interesting to talk to her cos i am not in a good cordial relationship with my mom and her talks didnt seem awkward, although we talked about men and i didnt feel like my defence was happening, uhmm been a while before i had an amazing discussion such as this.
she was also quite honest with me in sharing her opinions and lending an understanding ear to me, like when i told her i needed to leave our house soon because i feel like i am confined and i have reached a place where responsibilities have filled my bottle to the throttle and seem to escape them and she quite understood me, being a firstborn herself. and she also pointed out to me the level of neglect that my mother has put us through cos she stays away from our life for a while there but most especially for my younger siblings, I know i shouldn’t care but i am my siblings’ mother literally speaking, they must hate me, cos i dont even connect to them on maternal levels 😦
then we talked of marriage, i kept feeling impressed at how much her husband and herself get along, that was also corroborated by the fact that pn his way home he called to ask her what to bring home and even confirmed the specifics, “just bring the brown bread, the kids will have cake, yes and some fruits too” and continued to mention the quantity and what not and to think that she is not even employed!!
her husband helps with the dishes, washing, you know considering her illness, takes the whole family out every sunday, he works a town away but still comes back every night and when she doesn’t feel like cooking she’ll ask him to order for food and bring home and i kept making comparisons with our own, and STARK contrast was all I could come up with. now that is what is called COMMITMENT was my dad’s conclusion and i felt kinda bad inside, but it was helpful, she offered that that it needed training, you train a child er ..husband in the way he should go and he’ll never depart from it (men are kids, pun)
but that man is a husband and much more, this woman was honest. She started saying of how pretty my mum makes up and stuff but she doesn’t… she continued to tell me that she has never cared for grooming as much and even her husband picks out her outfits and she wouldn’t trust herself to choose out an outfit. “he’s got style’ she declared of her husband. I know not many women who’d love that but this man, i would say goes an extra mile in almost everything 🙂
i just said, Someday God will bless me with a good husband. Amen.
I felt happy visiting and i cooked supper for keep’s sake !!!